FEMME Fridays: How Lip Gloss Became a Lifeline

Not metaphorically. I genuinely could not remember.

I was surviving. Severely depleted. Moving through days that seemed to begin and end in the same pjs or track pants, my hair permanently twisted into a mum bun. My body was carrying everyone. My mind was tracking everything. And somewhere within the relentless rhythm of feeding, washing, soothing and holding, I had disappeared from my own view.

I cannot clearly recall the exact moment Femme Fridays began. I only remember thinking: 'if I do not switch something up, I am going to feel like this forever.'

So, on a Friday, I put on some lip gloss.

That was it.

It was not a makeover. It was not an elaborate self-care ritual. I did not have the energy, capacity or uninterrupted time for anything more.

I simply put on lip gloss.

Looking back now, I feel such fierce love for that fragile new Mama. She was falling apart and breaking open all at once. She did not yet have the language to explain what she needed. But some ancient, divine feminine instinct within her whispered:

Nourish yourself. Remember yourself. Begin here.

And she listened.

What started as lip gloss slowly became an intimate Friday tradition. A small invitation to choose something that brought me peace, joy or pleasure. Perhaps flowing clothes. Earrings. Music while I dressed. A little extra care with my hair. Nothing extravagant. Nothing performed for anyone else.

Just something that helped me feel like a woman within motherhood again.

Now I understand that these moments are not shallow or frivolous. Experiences of pleasure, warmth, beauty and connection all support the release of oxytocin—the hormone associated with love, bonding, safety and closeness.

For me, these micro-moments became a buffer against the monotony of motherhood. A balm for the countless necessary tasks that do not always deliver the dopamine my neurospicy brain is searching for.

Doing something simply because it feels good is not a waste of time.

Pleasure is not merely a lovely little bonus we are permitted once all the work is done.

It is a necessary part of our wellbeing.

Femme Fridays became a micro-shift with an immense impact. Not because clothing or lip gloss could fix depletion, but because they became a doorway back to myself.

Created in collaboration with mama_mane, whose beautiful clothing I first remember trying on at our local markets when I was newly postpartum with my daughter.

In those soft, flowing fabrics, I remembered that I loved boho clothing. I remembered the feminine feeling of soft fabric moving around my body. I remembered that comfort and beauty did not have to be opposites.

Together, we are creating Femme Fridays to inspire other neuro spicy, matriarch threshold, strong, resilent Mamas.

Not to become someone new but to find one small, pleasurable thread that leads them home to themselves.

So this Friday, begin with what you can,

lip gloss or a flowing dress. Bare feet in the sun or your favourite song.

One tiny act that says:

Love,

Samantha

Matrescence Coach and Consultant

Creator: @themagicofmatrescence